I think I've come to the point where I have to go on a very strict internet diet. For the past few weeks I have caught myself wandering aimlessly through the Web, as if in a mall, looking through windows, lingering, never committing, feeling no sense of accomplishment or loss at what transpired between my physical self and the binary bits that define what it is it wants us to see. Before I know it, hours have passed. Thanks to my incessant, "oh, just ten more minutes; oh, just another refresh; oh just one more alert check," the minutes ticked away into hours. I sat down to wander when the sun was up. I turned my head to look out the window and was mildly shocked to see it was dusk.
The funny thing is, I KNEW I was wasting time, but I did it anyway. There's a hypnosis that accompanies the aimless searches. No fulfillment, no disappointment either, but when the mind is forced to switch back to the actualities of the offline world, there is exhaustion. Even sadness. It's like an addiction (dear Lord, is this what it is?), an escape from waking consciousness, especially when burnout is the only viable option to working towards a goal.
Like now: I have to face several deadlines, house chores, social obligations, on top of preparing for work for the next school year. It has becoming so over whelming that I've taken to procrastinating, and trailing my eyes on my open tabs for message or post alerts. How sick is that?
I daresay, VERY! So here I am, declaring an internet diet to welcome the school year. I am determined to kick this very bad habit, starting with attacking my reading list, my unhealthy chips diet, my lethargy, and my overspending. I think these are all symptoms of this "addiction."
Wow. Well, at least now I can say I am truly a student of new media. I've been to the worst in this part of the virtual world. So now things can only get better. :)
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